this heat inspires a pistol on fire

delicate in a cutting frame.

and you know

i can blame no one else but me.

on a pedestal of fabric,

make the aches grow weary

make your parts work for me.

oh god what can i become.  i enjoy this movement too much.

hopeless soul may never do good for you.

the afternoon came along with the ache of your absence. i miss you now. more in this moment than i have in the months passed. this afternoon found me tired. and i just wanted to call you. i wanted to hear you call me your baby. but i can’t, just like i can’t seem to find the words inside me anymore. as if you left me and took my pen and paper with you.
the afternoon held me close to the ground. it’s heavier than i remember, this misfortune. i try to center myself in the disadvantage, keep my eye on the prize, and as i lean into it, i find you. i find your signal.

hung up my bets in the bedsheets
lustfully crawling knee by knee, hand by hand
straight to your favor.

the chillness in the air encourages sweat
and the touch of your hand causes goosebumps covering my entire body,
i flex in the caress of your fingertips.
and happily i look at you, eager to please. hungry from want. aching with need.

i bloom as a kitten in your glowing light
rolling and twisting,
just keep grasping for more

scattered on the floor,

legs bare

eyes closed, i lose my sense in images.

the warm glow of light supports my every move

a lustful crawl

to get closer

to you.

be my naughty moment.

be everything

be nothing i can have.

for you,

i’ll bare all of me.

… lover.

take good care of my instinct

don’t let me let go of my fire.

bring me all that newness i call desire

bring it to me for however long i may keep you.

and when you release all that we feel

i’ll keep it safe in my vein.

this certain heat has become a part of me

and i’ll let it feed.

 

i caught that.

found your hard side, slipped through my cracks like water, it did.

and you meant none of it, i know. but i caught it. it slid down my chest, right into my belly.  easy with the balloons that were already there. caused breathlessness.

my likeness.

and i can’t tell you.  paranoia. learned lessons. cause. clarity.

i found that remark.

felt it deep in my certainty.  lasting as long as sugar does in water. i found it in you. lips bleeding the syrup. eyes glassed in it.  hiding the gesture, playing the fool, i could taste it. eloquent.  bittersweet. concerned. needled.

my sweetness.  caught.

i heard it, louder and clear, this time. i heard you, through the typewriter and frequency waves.  a melody to my bad day, you’re the drum to the blue birds heart. the crack in my water-glass.. still holding tight to my wetness, breathing fire.