sink or swim.

you think i might swim,

i’m so good at it.

but the denseness of underwater blues is so much more appealing these days.

the quiet abyss wraps its arms around me.  sways me left to right,

its just the way i like it.

it’s just what i need right now.

the wetness smears it all away,

you would want it too…  if only i could feel like you

but i don’t.

so let’s sink.

fractured line of reasoning. sedated, swimming in deep waters.

these are my waves, my hidden corals, my seeking riptides.

and all that i am afraid of, all that i enjoy sleeps with me in the heavy currents.

when the blues and the purples match my skin tone, i know that its consumed me.

and while i sink quiet and silent, i know the pause is important, so i pay close attention.

and as i give in to display my likeness, its coolness brings resonance.

finally.

inhaling to become one. i feel alive.

all of a sudden- it fills me enough to be complete. and its okay. for once.

its alright with me.

i am not what you make of me. i fight hard not to let it break me down.

for once, just this once, i am enough.

so let it be. let these words describe the inside.

make the change if you feel so, swim deep inside here where its dark and wet and warm and slick.

if not, take notes, learn something new, and cut the lifeline.

and in all this time, i belong to you. in every minute i think of this. and your coolness kills me slowly.

crystal geyser,

i feel your rumble.

what began as a trickle is beating quickly against the walls of my heart.

looking for a quick escape in my eyes, i cant fight this feeling.

and as i search for the words i remember to stop.

react.

shut the umbrella and let it pour up, out and down on me.

and with the help of the pit of my stomach, this love finds no solution.

so i lay in it. twirl my fingertips in the puddles

and while i am still and silent, the beating resides.

crystal geyser,

you leave me wet and lonely.

i caught that.

found your hard side, slipped through my cracks like water, it did.

and you meant none of it, i know. but i caught it. it slid down my chest, right into my belly.  easy with the balloons that were already there. caused breathlessness.

my likeness.

and i can’t tell you.  paranoia. learned lessons. cause. clarity.

i found that remark.

felt it deep in my certainty.  lasting as long as sugar does in water. i found it in you. lips bleeding the syrup. eyes glassed in it.  hiding the gesture, playing the fool, i could taste it. eloquent.  bittersweet. concerned. needled.

my sweetness.  caught.

i heard it, louder and clear, this time. i heard you, through the typewriter and frequency waves.  a melody to my bad day, you’re the drum to the blue birds heart. the crack in my water-glass.. still holding tight to my wetness, breathing fire.