the afternoon came along with the ache of your absence. i miss you now. more in this moment than i have in the months passed. this afternoon found me tired. and i just wanted to call you. i wanted to hear you call me your baby. but i can’t, just like i can’t seem to find the words inside me anymore. as if you left me and took my pen and paper with you.
the afternoon held me close to the ground. it’s heavier than i remember, this misfortune. i try to center myself in the disadvantage, keep my eye on the prize, and as i lean into it, i find you. i find your signal.

captured in my moments with you

i’ve never felt so consumed

and when you press your heart against me

mine beats harder trying to let you know how i feel

 

and when the morning comes

my thoughts bloom in memory of you

i’m always wanting more…

more eye contact

more touch

to feel

more love

 

this heart is lost in an emotion

it’s something only you can bring

 

 

centered between a vulnerable and guarded space

i’m not afraid to show my face

and if you choose to join me for a day,

an afternoon,

an evening of your time…

i’ll take that risk to bleed.

 

in my space i feel warm.  delicate.

walking through this tiny forbidden space,

the vulnerable scratches the surface,

a long process of heart break.

 

i can’t tell the future.  and i don’t want to.

i’m open.

 

i give it to you

but only a little dosage of everything i am.

i give it to you to test you out,

to see if any shame will remain.

i know everything and nothing about you,

and i don’t care that i care.

because its a scratch.

its a distraction from all the rest.

patient and sleeved inside a strong arm.

fingertips wet, dripping with possibilities.

it rests awhile when all else is busy.

quiet and thoughtful, it aches for submersion.

while the sun rises high, and bodies move quick.

its calm, magnetic. and it draws me in tight, closer.

and as it transforms itself into static,

it quivers all through me.

and only when its coolness rains upon me,

turns me wet and a mess, will it rest, satisfied.

cloaked in the evenings blues.

and after all is fulfilled is when i find you.

and sleepily i fall into your arms,

my eyes red, lips swollen.

patched up just in time to relish in your comfort.