The Self Soother

Sometimes you can find yourself in a position filled with pain.

That pain is temporary, it comes and it goes, and it can make you sick with it, but it comes and it goes.

There’s a strange weight held onto people that makes them think they cannot comprehend, it makes them not want to accept, and they lash.

But if you sit with yourself, alone, long enough, there is a light that comes out from inside you.

You can feel hurt, but do you take it personal?

 Maybe you shouldn’t.

And the person that hurts you, do you abandon them because they hurt you?

Sometimes you should.

Sometimes you should not, especially if they are the ones with the most pain.

If you give yourself the time to lay with it, dissect it, think the worst and you come back to the idea of the best anyways,

You go with it.

You do not react, you do not take action.

You lay.

And you remember that you are such a light, you are so protected within the love that you’ve given that you let it be.

And you hope for the best, for both of you.

No matter the route, no matter the reason.

You hold onto your light and your own love and you aim for the best.

In Another Dimension

I see myself being a little girl, from 5 and on, with my dad, paddling out into the waves and he’s teaching me how to surf. 

I see us, like two water babies, and I’m learning skills I wish I only learned from him. 

I’ve been watching a lot of surfer movies lately. 

Classics and documentary. And I wonder. 

What about this keeps calling me? 

And what keeps me away?

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When the honey suckle leaves a distaste in my mouth,
I pull away and I open the window.
I gracefully pull closer the likeliness of wellbeing.
I let her in with the sweet smell of a fresh morning after a nights rain.
I greet her with open arms and an open heart.
I’ll openly satisfy her angst with nothing but warmth and attention.
Nothing but love and gratitude.
So bring it to me now, bring it to me before the window is closed again.

looking for the why’s.

I do things for irreplaceable and devoted passion.
I do things with love and righteousness.
I do things with never feeling an ill intention, only light.
I do things because it feeds me.
Makes me wholesome.
I do things to believe again. And trust again.
I hold tight to that feel to nurture it and caress it.
To pull out that good good.
I do things because it’s what my instinct tells me to,
And it’s always whispering the right things.
I do it because I love myself.
I do it, never to be giving up again.

The blues

Swirling in a whirlpool
My eyes can’t close, my eyes won’t fade.
I’m held in your grasp
Begging to gain strength.

I’m caught in a love jones
Separated by twos
Grasping for glory,
Only getting the blues.

I’m swirling. I’m feeling lost.
Mind frame keep me safe
At any cost.

Hold me now.
Give me peace.