release and rulerless
Gaining glory. One finger at a time.
I’m eagerly crawling, aiming to make you mine.
Whimsically blowing this smoke in the wind.
Begging shamelessly to see you again.
I want you.
I want like the waves need the moon.
I want you.
I want like the beats need the groove.
I’m wanting. So thoughtful in action.
Ohh the ache.
You are like magic.
You walked up to me, wrapped your arms around me.
Eyes fixed on me, you watched me.
Attention caught, you followed me. Payed attention to me, eyes loving only me.
And as I nervously moved around the room, aiming to entertain, only to please you,
you stayed calm in all my movements.
You smiled at my movements, wistful in my playfulness.
And once you finally caught me and simmered down my heat inside,
I gracefully melted into you.
Only for you.
You’re cold.
Colder than a winters morning.
And I’m so warm still.
It’s like watching breath fall from someone’s mouth in the still of that chill.
You’re cold. So cold, I almost don’t feel anymore.
as you let me go numb, I fall deep into my own madness.
These vibrations move too deep.
Looking for the core, I’m looking for the warmth.
I’m swimming deep, pushing away the fears
Breathing water, I bloom in the comfort.
Enrapture me in your culprit device, Keep me safe from my own demise.
Ugh the senses love to take over me,
Imagination caught with serendipity.
I can’t win, this I know.
And with every day, these seasons grow.
Sweet symphony, you’re a cause to blame,
As I strike my cord in this silly game.
Love.
You’re right. I’m insatiable.
I move through my days with an altered want.
Never feeling whole, always wanting more.
I’m hungry. I’m aching.
I’m disquiet in sensibility. And I hide it so well.
I’m ambiguous. I’m distraught. I’m fiery with wet imagination.
I’m breathing deep trying to pull you closer.
I’m a mess. Cultivated in all my senses so that no one else can see it. No one else can feel it.
I’m choosing the road of oblivion.
The summer breeze brought the sweet feel of you
Gliding across my skin.
Weakened to the knees.
Slow breath.
Slight touch.
And with the twinkling sound of leaves
My hearts pushing, legs grasping.
Full of memory.
Mmm.
Hums of machines move past me, back and forth. And back again.
Our silhouettes hide between the space.
Quietly maneuvering.
Constantly behaving.
And so tired.
this mind never corrupts.
Eyes close in the ache of a constant crave.
I’m remembering your touch.
Delicate but deliberate.
Remembering your face, quintessentially beautiful.
Remembering the feel, mind open… Body’s open.
Remembering your taste, salty and sweet.
It’s such a smooth collide.
I know not what you want from me,
As I become a beggar lustfully crawling for you.
Wanting you to make my psyche your home.
You took my hand. Cold and anxious it was.
It was desperate and honest.
You lead me to a door, to the waiting room, fed me bits of you, questioned my beliefs, desired my body, built my want.
You took me to that room, leaving me there hungry for more.
Always wanting more.
Grasping for more.
You sat me down and glanced at me, my eager eyes waiting for your next play.
You’ve left me wet with a hungry desire.
I’ve never felt the fiend like this before.
I’m done. You’ve won.
when dawn ended, the sun spilled on my face
soft in the pillows of you,
the warmth shined in that space, it broke its way into that room.
soaked me warmer than i already felt
laying there close enough to feel you.
eyes blinking, sleepily waking, feeling and touching.
reaching further into you,
reaching to find myself.
the sun brought me your morning,
blissful in the moment,
lovely to find.
Ciara Ashley Johnson 