hate – Ciara Ashley Johnson

you’ve won

You took my hand. Cold and anxious it was. It was desperate and honest. You lead me to a door, to the waiting room, fed me bits of you, questioned my beliefs, desired my body, built my want. You took me to that room, leaving me there hungry for more. Always wanting more. Grasping forContinue reading “you’ve won”

Push Me

give me what you’ve got. suck me dry, test the beast in me. you know deep down i need the pain. i feed off of this. i feed off of you. i feed off of us. because i know the difference that holds you and me we’ll never be happy without it.

my color

there is a color that bleeds from me. changes with the mood. gives me all the feel that i need like magic. i’ll breathe everything in. love everything and nothing that surrounds it. the purples the blues the greens dry raw and wait for me. a painful loving sight to see. it reveals everything. asContinue reading “my color”

untitled

you and me. we are untouchable identities. hidden from me is what i’d like it to be. i should know better. driven motions i make. want always rules over logic but i don’t care. you’re like a bad habit i could get used to. a secret hidden only for me. you’re a future imagined.

10.31

and if i just went away, would you try to find me? i believe you wouldn’t. i dont think you love me that much. if i were to pack my things and run. where ever… i could do it, you know. i would try to be the brave heart i want to be. i couldContinue reading “10.31”

888

so gloomy my spirit soaks the pain up. straight on the rocks. i say one thing and you hear the other. and i feel you pick a scab that was never really there. defendant at loss, i always fight back. the tough skin on me knows nothing else. you surely can relate.. clearContinue reading “888”

thursday in june

such a glutton for punishment. it will never grow tiresome, this struggle to make you love me. after many afternoons pass me under my closed eyes, i can feel the tiny knots in my stomach growing stronger.. and i find my rest is necessary. some sort of service to myself and everyone else. a ceremonyContinue reading “thursday in june”