10.31

and if i just went away, would you try to find me?

i believe you wouldn’t.  i dont think you love me that much.

if i were to pack my things and run.

where ever…

i could do it, you know.

i would try to be the brave heart i want to be.

i could make everything wrong in this situation right again.

while i weigh out every feeling,

i’m dizzy now.. sick to the core of it.

and lonely.

and i dont know if i am meant to be what you want.

feeling like the failure i usually am.

i dont know if you can be what i need. i dont know how we ever got in this mess.

and the streaks upon my face make no difference in the light of morning.

i cant go back, i cant make you decide different.

tell me the truth. make me believe.

i dont know how to control this.  stop the heartache while my body goes numb.

dizzy now.. sick to the core. and alone.