Ciara Ashley Johnson

Eyes open in the moons light.
Then is when I find you in my bed.

With the softest of lips kissing the back of my neck.
They graze against my skin,
down towards my collarbone.

Sweet breath creates the perfect tension.
I turn soft for you in this moment.
As you glide your hands down my spine, I roll into your solvent.

I switch lovely to your vibrancy.
I wrap around you like electricity.

I break free from everything that doesn’t matter.
You make me feel.

And I love every minute of it.

Left with my own devices.
I’m sitting. I’m working, worshiping and loving everything my hands can get hold of.

I’m left with my own skin, my own thoughts, my self love.
I’m dissecting and contemplating, I’m wondering in all these movements.

I’m realizing.

I’m okay. I’m faulted, I’m content with that.
I make decisions with good intentions in all their movements.
I want. And I need. I grasp.

I feel.

I’m human.

How easy it is to fall softly into the memory of how you feel.
Such a gift I was given, sultry in our soothing light.
Such a quiet blessing in sweet disguise.
You pull softly in our own escape,
Gentle and slow to every ache.
A Blissful touch to all my thoughts.
I’m begging you for more.

You came in like a lost memory.
Quietly curious, feeling through the cobwebs.
Those cobwebs of forgotten dreams,
Those dreams that are dead now.
The sad ones, the good ones, the confused ones.
They all came in with you, and as you moved your lips,
I couldn’t listen.
I couldn’t forget about the wall I was building.

So I spoke. I said things I’d never meant to say. Things I won’t regret, but things I didn’t need to share.
I said things to hurt you. Because I knew you were only beginning to feel the pain, and I thought perhaps, if I pushed you along, you wouldn’t feel for me anymore.

Goodbye love.

Because in the depths of passion and love and lust,

you can find purity.

I’m in a moment of rest,
A moment of pulse.
A moment of want, it roots deep and sweet.
Quiet always.
Wet always.
Ready always.

I’m in a moment of love,
A moment of lust.
A moment of need, it blooms soft.
Hungry always.
Swollen always.
Fading always.

Glowing light, floods breathe.
Manifest and move all the right moments.
Less distraction, less you.
Mind clear, eyes focused.

Glowing light, floods swallow.
Build castles and behave as expected.
Less love, less you.
Eyes open, mind aware.
Body focused, temple blessed.

Glowing light, floods follow me.

In these days going by, you can find me isolated.

Feverishly finding the plan inside me, all the while destitute from love and relations because my name is attached to an idea or a person or a moment.

I’m abandoned with my self, procuring a habit to better what’s real life for me.
I’m hungry from angst of pain in loss of life and love.
I’m imprisoned in my own thought pattern,
Trying to gain from this circumference of creation.

I am alone.

I’ve never wanted this love to influence my movements of thought throughout the day.
I’ve never wanted to feel like someone else could complete me.
I’ve never wanted to feel weak in the nights grace that brought you closer.
I never wanted to find myself quietly gesturing the soft spots in our moments.

I never wanted to become so transparent.

Stay quiet, because I’m quiet.
And you’re my favorite so far.

Lost in your delivery, I stay put in my costume for you
I ride this oceans wave for you.
I bloom, I blossom for you.
Still hiding all of this for you.

Stay calm, because I’m calm.
And you’re my favorite daybreak.

Found in your take back, I leave for you
I play for you.
I grow, I try for you.
Still stifling for you.

Stay this way.
Because I don’t know another route if you aren’t in it.