Ciara Ashley Johnson

In these days going by, you can find me isolated.

Feverishly finding the plan inside me, all the while destitute from love and relations because my name is attached to an idea or a person or a moment.

I’m abandoned with my self, procuring a habit to better what’s real life for me.
I’m hungry from angst of pain in loss of life and love.
I’m imprisoned in my own thought pattern,
Trying to gain from this circumference of creation.

I am alone.

I’ve never wanted this love to influence my movements of thought throughout the day.
I’ve never wanted to feel like someone else could complete me.
I’ve never wanted to feel weak in the nights grace that brought you closer.
I never wanted to find myself quietly gesturing the soft spots in our moments.

I never wanted to become so transparent.

Stay quiet, because I’m quiet.
And you’re my favorite so far.

Lost in your delivery, I stay put in my costume for you
I ride this oceans wave for you.
I bloom, I blossom for you.
Still hiding all of this for you.

Stay calm, because I’m calm.
And you’re my favorite daybreak.

Found in your take back, I leave for you
I play for you.
I grow, I try for you.
Still stifling for you.

Stay this way.
Because I don’t know another route if you aren’t in it.

I am mind swept with you.

I am infatuated beyond my own understanding,

Needing to feed my patience for when I will feel you again.
It’s in the depths of my bones, I can feel your touch grazing my skin.

I’m caught in the mind frame of rapture.

The moments you show eagerness to please me.
Those moments that have come and gone and I am succulent.
Craving your closeness.
Giving and taking those energies of gratitude.

I am at ease with this.
Knowing the fear which you may bring has no face to my spiritual and carnal need of you,

And I am open.

I had you worded like a love spell.
So quiet, so sweet.
Wrapping my body around you like a sex fiend,
I twisted my tongue around your tip.
Made you so far inside my mouth, I made my own eyes water.
I rolled with your wave, gave you what you needed, when you needed, right when you wanted it.
I stripped My body soulful, grasping for every inch of glory.
I wanted so bad, I didn’t even care to make you mine.
I just had to feel.

Stillness between movements finds the tension building…

Between the dark spaces of you and me I find light in your grazing fingertips.

Between the slow paced breath of us I find the comfort in your quiet lull.

Between the fluttering pace of heart beats I find the likeness deep in your eyes.

Between the soft pulse of your lips touching mine I find a space inviting us both to indulge and feel.

Between the small hours given between dusk and dawn I find myself feeling lovelier than ever for you.

You’re best at finding me delicate and open.

You come. You dose. You take. You consume.

You lead. I follow. We breathe. It falls.

I listen. I’m quiet. I consume. I want.

The day follows me in absence and all I believe in is now.

I think as you wish.

You make me feel.
Better than I was, like there could be a place for you where there was no one else before.

You make me want, you make me ache.
Hungry for your taste, ready for your touch.
Willing to beg you to leave your scent all over me.

I’m caught up in this daydream.
I just need you to keep feeding me reasons to stay in it.

Thoughts engage me in silky memories of you.
You’re like a playlist that crawls beneath my skin,
My Eyes close with the thought of it.
My fingertips find my lips,
Tongue grazing the surface with thoughts.
I’m suffering from hunger,
A desperate need to taste you… And no one else will do.

And with the gentle glide and slide of slick wetness,
I find my neck, my collarbone, my hip.
I’m reaching for it, as if it were you.
I’m hooked.

Biting my own wrist,
I’m encompassed with a deep need and want,
And there’s no going back.

Eyes rolling, legs twisting tighter with the pillows between my legs,
I’m aching, suffering,
And Thinking of you play by play.

She was a silent love force.
A Muse of her own.
Something like magic, anxiously stirring in a teacup.
Desperate to be drank and understood.