“my dearest scatter heart”

textured walls finding softness building pieces you can’t follow me anymore quiet gestures bringing closer ideas lovely bruised and beaten find me ugly today tomorrow always willing suffer more than less likely candidate you make nonsense reality again and again third class communication never wins in this space near me so bring your suitcase pack up quickly runaway lover i dislike you right now and covet you always taking care to show my care ignore me now find the silence bleeding hearts scurried lifestyle destructive behavior creeps upon me blooming death traps surround this body denied suffocation always hungry       and moments passed finds the sounds massaging my insides brilliant being i’ll figure you out just in time to let you know why i must leave you unwilling and disrupted don’t make me love you anymore i try to make decisions concrete beyond my fingertips i am grasping for your touch hating the torture you serve me i bring it upon myself flawed i am and problems rise to make it live for me what’s new you in a locked compartment deny me love deny me comfort deny the future and breathe me uncertainty i am not your average beating heart opposite the others and you’re losing it too soon love was meant you rushed and dragged me along and tore my chest open visibly corrupting my thought process  you are something else like an act of ruefulness to show others and yourself madness belongs in a warm jumpsuit                        jumping off into pools of water to drown in your hindsight oh well  it’s warm were i stand with bright futures only blocked by self denial i’ll find my own you’ll see and i hope for you to be next to me questioning you i always end up falling too much in love this time will bring enlightened behavior so i hope for your likeness this is the minute that recalls all else this is the minute that begins another chapter this is what feels necessary. and it stops.