cold fingers

empty spaces between us.

engaged conversations, forgotten embraces, distracted by the bodies that surround us.

dim lights and screaming music, i forgot to find you.

smoke my thoughts outside and ramble on the happenings of yesterday.

i remember to find you and become distracted by giving undeserved apologies to obnoxious attitudes.   angry and anxious, i rush for cover from my own behavior.

uncomforted and ignored.

the blood rushed from my head and i found myself fighting my own temper.

alcohol mixes with feelings.  days passed,

i should have just stayed under your covers tonight. that’s all i came for anyways.

instead i find myself dissatisfied by the taste in my mouth.

questioning patterns,

crying the blues.

unhappy in love in these moments. i found you disconnected, worried about others, leaving none for me.

these cold fingers found me holding a steering wheel, ready to fall back to my own space, but still unable to leave you at yours.

these blue fingers found me closing your bedroom door, catching my breath from the movement of never wanting to shape like this again.

i may create my own hell, but you feed the fire that i burn in.